16 Sep 2013
in Korea, Outcalls
Tags: face rest, floor, massage, new style
This was an actual massage I gave! Not just a 5 minute backrub.
One of my neighbors was moving out last weekend and had a bunch of stuff to sell. But since moving here is expensive and payday is another month away, we bartered a little bit. I got a bunch of her stuff for an hour massage. I won’t tell you what I got, but let’s say my kitchen is happy.
Other than Thai massage, I have not done massage on the floor. I prefer not to because it’s not good for my body or the client’s. There is typically no facerest causing the person to have to crane their neck to one side and the other constantly. I feel it defeats the purpose of the massage.
Anyway, I have several yoga mats. One average one, one thick one, and a random eggshell type. I put the regular down first, followed by the eggshell, and then the thick one. I put a blanket down over it and the client was able to lay on a cushioned mat. At the time I didn’t have a facerest still so we used a mini pillow but she still had to keep her head turned to the side. Since then, I have purchased a nice thick ‘neck pillow’ (think of what you use on a plane) and its use as a face rest is perfect.
The massage was smooth I think. Not my best since I wasn’t accustomed to being on the floor, but i was able to give good pressure and flow.
I’m hoping to offer my service to other foreign teachers/workers in my area and earn an extra won or two.
Thank you, S.A. C for letting me work on you and experiment for a bit!! And thanks for helping my house get cozy! Good luck on your new adventures, your engagement, and travels! xoxo
15 Aug 2013
Tags: alarms, bells, bob, cancelled, dirty, douche, flags, gentleman, gross, happy endings, intuition, italian, jerk, lmt, massage, massage envy sucks, mechanic, MTA, noni, outcall, private massage, red flag, stress relief, text, the works, therapeutic, voicemail, warning, witty, wittylmt
A friend of mine put a tiny dent into my car back on a popular summer holiday. He sent me to a mechanic friend of his to get it fixed. This mechanic was a big Italian (possibly) New York kinda guy. *You know… the giant gold cross necklace with fat fingers and creeping eyes* While waiting for a response from my friend on whether to go through with the $500 charge (obviously a rip off) the man and I were talking. He had seen my massage table and asked if that’s what I do. Instead of lying, I said ‘yea. I do outcalls.’ He said he could give me a bigger discount on the car if I gave him a massage. I’m open to barter and trades so I said ‘Sure. Give me a call.’ Clearly, it had been before 10am since I gave him my card (aka I wasn’t awake yet). I also may have been thinking, “By the time this guy calls, I’ll be out of the country.” My friend ended up not wanting to pay $500 to fix a dent smaller than my fist (duh) so I left.
A few days ago I got a call from The Mechanic. He goes on about how his back hurts from his job and how Massage Envy doesn’t provide the massages he wants when he wants it and how he’s stressed and needs some stress relief. *BING* Flag is up. Stress relief can mean two very different things in the massage world. It could mean ‘I have a lot of stress and I’d like to relax please’ or ‘I have a very specific location that I hold stress particularly south of my stomach and north of my thighs’. For some reason though (maybe the previously mentioned creeping eyes) stress relief sounded not quite right. But because it wasn’t blatant I had to keep going with my intake. I asked what time length he was looking for… 30? 60? 90? He responded with ‘Wow. Yea 90 minutes would be great.’ I said ‘ok! Just so you know, a 90 minute massage will cost $100′ and he responds with ‘Yea $100. $200. Whatever’ (((((???? okayyyyyy….))))) *BING* Flag turns orange – something doesn’t seem right with $100, $200, whatever.
My warning flag’s color change prompted me to explain what areas of the body I work on in a 90 minute massage. He said ‘yea uh huh okay’ a few times and responded with ‘Well is there any other therapeutic extras you offer? You know for stress relief?’ *Bing Bing Bing* Warning Warning. My flag is now red. Code red. Hooker nail polish red. ‘I usually offer hot stone massage or aromatherapy, sir. But those upgrades are currently unavailable’. “ookay” says he.
Therapeutic meaning therapy. Meaning something maybe out of balance or injured and needs repairing. In this case, The Mechanic used an excellent term to refer to an inappropriate action. Sneaky… but I’m smarter than that, douche.
I proceeded anyway (again, not quite post-coffee time). “May I have an address where the massage will take place?” ‘Uh.. I’m at a friend’s house so I’ll text it to you.’ “Okay, can you give me a general area so I know how to calculate the gas cost please?’ He tells me that part of town. “I’ll see you at 4:30, Mechanic?” ‘Yea. 4 sounds great. See you then. But call before, I want to make sure I’m awake and ready for you.’
He sends me a text with the address and, go figure, the address does not exist. The zip code is correct but the street (in all various blvds, st, rd, pl, ave, etc) does not exist. After my coffee and the review of the alarms ringing and flags waving in my face I realized I needed to cancel that massage. So I called to no answer. To no voicemail. I would think that a businessman would have a voicemail. Or anyone that has a cell phone ever. So I did the most unprofessional thing I could think of… I cancelled via text. My responses were ‘bbbkffpprrr. z. fjklf’ followed by ‘message right.’ followed by ‘flkjrjrrbkfflazzzz’ and again ‘too late’. I had a voicemail with no missed call that was 3 minutes of nothingness. Sorry Mr. Mechanic. But not really.
09 Aug 2013
Tags: awesome, c est la vie, chair massage, classics, doris day, double or nothing, ella fitzgerald, frank sinatra, gentleman, hawaii, just do it, lmt, louis armstrong, massage, maui, musical preference, old music, outcall, serenade, shoes, singing, spa, sports massage, standards, sweet ballads, west maui, witty, wittylmt
This is a story from a few years back while I was working out in Hawai’i.
I had been referred to a private client by someone who I know longer remember. This client happened to be VP of a particularly prominent shoe brand. As always, I turned the music on prior to setting up so the client can decide if it was what they wanted to relax to. My choice that session was “standards.” Sweet ballads by Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, Doris Day, Frank Sinatra, etc. You know… classics. VP asks me how I came to listen to these old singers and I told him I had no idea. I like the music, it reminds me of days that I never lived (in this life). I told him it inspired me to sing and Ella Fitzgerald was my musical preference.
He made a proposition I have still not had matched. He offered me twice the agreed upon rate, if I would ‘serenade’ him to sleep while I gave a massage. I recall agreeing of course. My first (and only) paid singing gig?! While massaging? Throw in some ballet and I could be on America’s Got Talent!
Like most of my clients, he was passed out within the first 10 (of 90) minutes. At some point I think I went from singing to humming and he actually awoke and said humming was not part of the contract. Ha!!! Amazing. He was asleep and woke up when I stopped singing. ((Good thing I didn’t get caught having stopped the massage – jk. I would never))
Nice guy in a great big cabin in northern west Maui. I never got a bad vibe from him and he followed through with his end of the bargain. If I could make that a new style of massage.. ahhh c’est la vie.
23 Mar 2012
in Conversational Pieces, Outcalls
Tags: awesome, dirty, douche, facebook, full body, gentleman, gross, happy endings, jerk, lmt, massage, outcall, private massage, red flag, the works, witty, wittylmt
This following conversation actually transpired via Facebook (and, as always, for privacy purposes the name of the jerk has been changed):
**”Burt” is the father of a friend of mine “Sam” who I began attending school with in pre-K. Sam’s mother (and wife of ‘Burt) taught me in sunday school. I know this family from my interaction with the religious community.**
hey Shannon where can someone go to get a massage from you?
there are a couple options. i conduct my business out of wherever you are. i offer a mobile massage service. however, if that’s not something you are comfortable with, i’m available at the Citrus Club downtown by request. The price is the same, but i dont get the full pay. It’s $75 there and when i come to you for an hour of swedish massage. if you’d like to call me my number is ***-***-****
ok sounds good.So you dont work out of a studio?Is a Sweedish massage relaxation full body?
*using the phrase ‘full body’ is a red flag for me, which is probably why I didn’t respond to him 2 years ago*
are you available possibly this weekend for a massage?
Hi Curt, I’m sorry I just got this message (i’m noticing that I’m not getting notifications for messages lately). I just got back to Tampa and I’ll be here for the first half of the week. I should be back next weekend however. Let me know if you’d like to book something for then.
Have a great day
Hi Shannon can you let me know the different types of massage that you do?THANKS
I offer swedish (light to medium pressure), deep tissue (medium to firm pressure), and hot stone massage (swedish massage with hot stones incorporated into it)
I go to a masseusse she does full body light pressure.I think its Sweedish.
Light pressure is typically swedish. My “full body” consists of neck back shoulders arms hands legs feet and glute upon request
ok i get your point and thanks.While I really enjoy a really good massage I like full body where EVERY muscle is relaxed.
great, please do not ever contact me again.
This is not the first time someone’s father has contacted me about such nasty things. A different friend of mine’s (who i was already on egg shells with because her best friend’s husband made a move on me) father commented on several FB pictures of mine saying i looked ‘real good’ and even messaged me to let me know how ‘hot’ he thought I was.
People, get your nasty dad’s under control.
13 Dec 2011
in casino, In Spa, Outcalls
Tags: blackjack, casino, chiropractic, lmt, massage, practice, scope, wittylmt
“Can you adjust my back?”
Me: “Sorry it’s not in my scope of practice.”
Other (more wasted) blackjack player:
“What about happy endings?”
Me: “Also not in my scope of practice.”
(This is a great line for the therapist who doesn’t want to follow their instinct and be mean.)
07 Nov 2011
Tags: hawaii, lmt, massage, noni, outcall, punani, sports massage
My entire career as a massage therapist consisted of jumping from this job to that. But I’ve always been consistent about doing my outcalls. An outcall is having a private client call for a massage session at their location (hotel, home, apartment, business, etc). This is where the more sketchy clients come from. This is the part of the job many people get freaked out about. I have had my share of great private outcall clients and not so great.
FYI: I went by the nickname “Noni” out in Hawai’i (take the last few letters of Shannon and put an i at the end). It wasn’t a common name out there but it wasn’t uncommon either. And it was a lot easier for some locals than “Shannon”.
I stayed in an apartment complex in Hawai’i for a year or so and would post my business cards in the laundry area. Sometimes people would call for inquiries but not many took the bait. One of my clients was a Hawai’ian guy.
He was in construction and worked out often and stayed active. He called me asking for a sports massage. The first couple of massages went smooth. The third one was the charm.
After setting up the table, I excused myself to the restroom. As I always do, I told him to give me a shout when he was ready. I heard “Okay” and stepped out and there he was completely naked by the table. Before I even registered the complete nakedness I went back into the bathroom apologizing profusely. I thought he said “okay!”
I come back out when he confirmed he was on the table under the sheets and again apologized. He said no problem just a minor misunderstanding. The massage was only a 30 minute sports massage. It was going quite normal until it was time to turn over. Like a good therapist I hold the draping in a way to not expose the client in an uncomfortable manner. Somehow he snagged a bit of the sheet on the way up but it did not expose anything. As I sat down near his head to work on his neck/chest, he chose that moment to adjust the sheets to normal – giving me a peek of what I didn’t want to see (for a second time in a day).
I disregarded it and finished the massage. As I finished packing up the table he pulled out a joint and offered it to me. As tempting as it was, I try to keep that part of my professionalism away from recreation. For those who don’t get it.. i said no! (proud of me, mom?)
I charged $45 for the 30 minute sports massage. He said he only had $40. Feeling guilty for the exposure earlier I said don’t worry about it. As I pocketed the money, he muttered something:
Him: “since you blkjlfajsdflkasjdflk noni.”
Him: “laskdjfalskdjflskdjfs noni”
Me: “I still don’t understand you”
Him: “alskjdflajsdlfkjs noni”
Me: “All I hear is you saying my name”
Him: “YOU SAW MINE! SHOW ME YOUR PUNANI!!”
Me: “What? No! That was an honest mistake! I thought you said you were ready! I’m not showing you my junk!”
Him: “I’ll give you another $20″
Me: “i thought you said you didn’t have enough for the massage? well keep your $20. i think you need to find a new therapist”.
And I left. He tried to call for another appointment and I “sweetly” told him that the type of massage he was looking for wasn’t what I offered. As I always did with “confused” clients, I referred him to the back of the Weekly.
For those who aren’t familiar with the term “punani” look it up in the urban dictionary.
26 Oct 2011
in Conversational Pieces, Outcalls
Tags: bike shorts, bob, draping, first client, lmt, massage, witty, wittylmt
Like a typical female, I find myself often remembering all my firsts: first kiss, first love, first international chocolate, first day of massage school, first etc, etc…and of course my first outcall and client.
After I received my letter saying I was had passed my national exam (NCBTMB) I immediately began looking for clientele outside of the circle of friends and family. I had decided to try my hand at outcalls and mobile massages.
For the sake of privacy I shall nickname my first client “Bob”. It’s a completely appropriate name, you see: He was a plumber living in a quaint neighborhood/village in a place I’ll nickname “Fantasia”. He had the classic plumber in his late 40s beerbelly and long stringy hair that probably should have been kept short. The way people present themselves (cleanliness, clothing choices, hair color etc) is often the first thing I notice. With the decline of door-to-door salesmen and increase of face-time on computers and phones, people of today have forgotten the awkwardness of sitting outside of a complete stranger’s door. One does not know what to expect because voices often do not match the physical presence of a person.
I had just climbed up 4 flights of stairs carrying my table that was 3/4 my size (i’m vertically challenged). I took a moment to catch my breath as I checked the paperwork: I had the correct address, I memorized the client’s name, and was had my game face on. Just as I’m about to knock, the front door swings open and there is “Bob” standing stark naked at the front door: My first massage client.
A good massage school prepares the students for moments like this. I thank goodness that I attended a hippie school and immediately took hold of the situation (get your mind out of the gutter). I turned away and requested of him to put some sort of towel or shorts on. Again, thank goodness, he obliged.
My first client insisted that he watch football while he received his massage. I obliged. My very first client asked to not use draping because his “former therapist of 15 years didn’t make me use it.” Thank goodness Florida law requires draping (at least that’s what I said). He enjoyed his Swedish massage and immediately booked another appointment.
The next time I saw my first client, he met me downstairs to show me street parking. He managed to do all of this in his biking shorts. I’m shaking my head just thinking about it. At least he was wearing something this time right?
Anyway, that’s the story of my first client. By the way, I was only 20 years old at the time.
Don't answer the door wearing this.