29 Sep 2013
in casino, Korea
Tags: chair massage, chicken strips, clients, darts, dont gamble in korea, dr seuss, facebook, gin, illegal gambling, Korea, massage, new regulars, poker, skills, taxi, tonic, won
No, actually it’s illegal to gamble here. It’s for the best. LAWD knows I’d be in troubbbllleee.
I was hanging out at school this past Friday preparing for a testing day by… checking Facebook. On the group created for my town in Korea, someone put up a post asking if anyone wanted to play poker. I couldn’t get in on the action because 1. I’m broke 2. I haven’t played since I left pre-Thailand 3. I’m broke. But I watched as a few guys responded to the post saying they wanted to join. After about 5 people joined in, an official event was started.
*insert mischievous grin* “I may not be able to play,” the grinchess thought, “..but maybe I can make them pay!”
Old memories of my times at the casino flooded my brain. I messaged the game-starter and mentioned my services. He said ‘I guarantee you’ll leave with 40K tonight’ (((keep in mind.. 40K in won… not dollars))) So I told him i’d get there after school.
School ended, I ran outside to catch a bus. *Insert an hour of trying to figure out which bus to catch from where I was* The game had started at 9:30p… I got out of work at 10pm…I didn’t get there until 11pm.
But the game was still on! I had lotion and stretched my hands. And since this isn’t the casino…. I had myself a lovely gin and tonic. *content smile*
I offered 10 minutes for 7Kwon. I did two 30 minutes sessions and a 10 min session. After a couple of drinks, a horrible game of darts, and a basket of chicken strips ((omg chicken strips!!)) I left. .. with 40K (won). AND a couple of new clients. One who will hopefully be a regular, and since I know his wife, they’ll be a couple of regulars
HIGH FIVE FOR MASSAGE DURING POKER SKILLS!!
29 Aug 2013
Tags: asian, at work, boss, chair massage, korean, manager, massage, spread the word, word of mouth
The title is all wrong.
I haven’t received a massage here yet. And I also haven’t given a real massage yet. But several minutes after my last post, my manager was the at the printer and rubbing and rolling her shoulder. I asked if she was okay and she said ‘Yes. It just is hurt a little’ and I gave her the knowing smile. I asked if she needed a massage and she said ‘Yes. But I dont have time because I work here so much.’ It took her a moment to realize that I was a massage therapist and her eyes lit up in the way only excited Asians’ eyes can. It was classic. I told her to sit down for a minute and I worked her shoulder “chair massage” style. It seemed to work out pretty well. It was only a few minutes worth but it seemed to do the job.
She was called away by another teacher and rolled her shoulder a few times on the way out. She came running in about 2 minutes later exclaiming: “Shannon Teacher! Wow! You are miraculous! How did you know? My shoulder is very… ” then she ran to her computer to translate a word and returned with “congested! congestion? conjest?” LoL. I wouldn’t use congestion as a term for tight muscles but it worked out okay. For the next 20 minutes she would come back and say ‘Wow. Amazing.” or “Magic hands”
It seems the word will spread with the help of a manager. Now, people, don’t get me wrong. I did not do this to win points with my boss or get help later when I need it. She’s cool enough that’d she’d do that anyway. I offered her help because that’s the kind of person I am. I see a person in need and I offer my help. In this case, she took it and has no regrets.
She apparently has told the other “secret” manager (part owner of the school) of my abilities. I guess I can expect some clientele soon.
09 Aug 2013
Tags: awesome, c est la vie, chair massage, classics, doris day, double or nothing, ella fitzgerald, frank sinatra, gentleman, hawaii, just do it, lmt, louis armstrong, massage, maui, musical preference, old music, outcall, serenade, shoes, singing, spa, sports massage, standards, sweet ballads, west maui, witty, wittylmt
This is a story from a few years back while I was working out in Hawai’i.
I had been referred to a private client by someone who I know longer remember. This client happened to be VP of a particularly prominent shoe brand. As always, I turned the music on prior to setting up so the client can decide if it was what they wanted to relax to. My choice that session was “standards.” Sweet ballads by Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, Doris Day, Frank Sinatra, etc. You know… classics. VP asks me how I came to listen to these old singers and I told him I had no idea. I like the music, it reminds me of days that I never lived (in this life). I told him it inspired me to sing and Ella Fitzgerald was my musical preference.
He made a proposition I have still not had matched. He offered me twice the agreed upon rate, if I would ‘serenade’ him to sleep while I gave a massage. I recall agreeing of course. My first (and only) paid singing gig?! While massaging? Throw in some ballet and I could be on America’s Got Talent!
Like most of my clients, he was passed out within the first 10 (of 90) minutes. At some point I think I went from singing to humming and he actually awoke and said humming was not part of the contract. Ha!!! Amazing. He was asleep and woke up when I stopped singing. ((Good thing I didn’t get caught having stopped the massage – jk. I would never))
Nice guy in a great big cabin in northern west Maui. I never got a bad vibe from him and he followed through with his end of the bargain. If I could make that a new style of massage.. ahhh c’est la vie.
22 Jan 2013
in Conversational Pieces
Tags: anonymous, awesome, chair massage, green eggs and ham, lmt, massage, MTA, outcall, poem, private massage, the works, witty, wittylmt
My name is $#@^^*^- It’s been 9 months since my last massage.
well…. since I’ve given my last massage. Honey, I’m in Thailand right now – I can get a Thai massage here!
But that is not the point. The point is… I miss it.
I miss my table with the good head rest.
I miss the sheets, they were the best.
I miss my butter and my oil
I’m sad I’m gone, cuz now its spoiled.
I miss feeling the rotator cuff,
applying pressure that’s just enough.
I miss the energy and the flow
I miss massage I’m sure you know.
I do not miss the sleazy stares, the backs that have small bumps and hairs.
I do not miss the same lame joke, I do not miss the smell of smoke.
I do not miss the stinky sweat, I do not miss it, you can bet.
But overall I think I’d say
I really only miss the pay.
06 Apr 2012
in casino, Conversational Pieces
Tags: asian massage, awesome, blackjack, cards, casino, chair massage, comparable, dirty, gentleman, gross, happy endings, lmt, massage, poker, private massage, shwasted, thailand, the works, witty, wittylmt
If anyone walked into the poker room before noon, they would ask themselves if they accidentally walked into a bingo hall instead. There are SO many old men there it is isn’t funny… or it is because old men can be funny.
Many of them are war veterans of this or that war. At least once a day I hear them say “I’m too old” or “My bones couldn’t handle a massage” or whatever. I know the excuses and I smile nicely and walk on.
Recently however, I had an influx of men who fought in ‘Nam. And they LOVE to tell me that they had a massage once… over in some asian country where the girls give REALLY GOOD massages.
Old men “I fought in ‘Nam. I was stationed at one point in Thailand. I definitely got massages there. They were only a few bucks too. Great massages”
Me “But I doubt we give the same type of massages”
Old men “No honey, I hope not! Haha. and if my wife ever found out…”
Thank you old men for comparing my massages to those of hookers in thailand.
06 Apr 2012
Tags: badger balm, burberry, cards, casino, chair massage, douche, jerk, lmt, massage, poker, shwasted, stinky, witty, wittylmt
People who gamble seriously take gambling serious. As mentioned, I see people gambling not just $5 bets.. $500 bets on a regular basis.
In the poker room, players will sit there for hours upon hours playing cards and losing their money (and then winning it back and then losing it again, etc). I started my shift around 10 am and immediately got a massage. There was a particularly ghetto guy playing at Table 14 across from my massage. His friend was playing there as well. His friend mentioned he has to get back home to get his kid and since he was the sober of them, they needed to leave in an hour. Ghetto guy agreed and went back to singing especially loud and off key to the pure enjoyment of the entire table. I’m still a bit tired so I encourage this character by laughing a few times at his incredible (horrible) singing abilities. At some point I suppose he starts to notice because he starts to lower his glasses at me and smile.MMmmmmm, nothing turns a girl on like gold-framed teeth. He loses a few hands, wins a few hands, then tells his friend to F*** off when it’s time to leave. He can find his own damn ride home! He’s a grown-ass man who is capable of getting a taxi! (Mind you he lives 125+ miles away).
After I finish my massage, I go on break. When I come back, a supervisor asked for me to head to table 14. I approach the table hoping it was my previous client again but alas and alack! it is Ghetto guy requesting me! He doesn’t really want a massage though, he says as he leans in close. He wants to get to know me because I am a beautiful girl and he knows I’m working so this is how he decides to wooooooo me. The little darling says he’ll pay for 5 minutes of massage (That would be $10, I see about $4 of that, and hope I get a tip) but he doesn’t want me to massage him… he just wants me to touch him. And, baby, does he smell gooooooood! Like an expired pack of cigarettes all smoked at once with a slight undertone of sweat mingling with a hint of vodka red bull.
Like any good therapist, I use my Peppermint & Lavender scented Badger Balm (from Cracker Barrel, mind you!) on his neck immediately. About two minutes later he turns around and pushes me away: “You have this amazing power to make me feel really high right now. I’m too high for this to play and drunk. I’ll call you back over to get to know you a bit better later. Here’s the money plus a nice tip.” (Total: $15 for 2 minutes.. Meh, I’ll take it)
Not too long later (about 5 hours) I come back around offering massage and the guy takes off his glasses and stands up. He is obviously about to be dramatic and he’s halting the game.
He says “You. Miss Shannon. You rubbed that massage shit on me.”
I say “It’s actually not shit, it’s balm. It’s a lavender and peppermint scent.”
He says “Well I prefer my Burberry more better”
I say “More better huh? Well that’s grammatically correct!”
He says “You talkin shit?”
I say “No sir, I talk truth.”
While the table laughs at my friendly banter and his outraged responses, he accidentally throws some money into the pot and then realizes he wasn’t supposed to do that. His accidental raise caused him to accidentally start swearing toward me and I walked away shaking my head.
Luckily it was my last day there so I didn’t have to worry about the response. . . He was smell and drunk anyway. For shits and giggles (which I already had at this guys expense) I decided to google how much a cab ride would be for this guy to go home:
I guess the taxi driver gets the last laugh.
27 Feb 2012
Tags: blackjack, cards, casino, chair massage, chips, douche, free, gross, lmt, massage, slots, witty, wittylmt
As I walk around a pit with blackjack tables in it, I ask each table if they would like a massage. Typically they ask how much it is and either agree to get one or (most likely) do not.
Me: Massages for anyone here?
Fat Man in giant jean shorts: Are they free?
Me: No sir.
Fat Man in giant jean shorts: How about you give me a free one, pretty lady?
Me: Okay! Here’s the deal: I’ll give you a 5 minute free massage, but in exchange I want at least $10 in chips or cash… for free.
Fat Man in giant jean shorts: Okay, here’s a chip ($2.50).
Me: You want a one minute massage?
(massages are $2/minute)
Fat Man in giant jean shorts: Yea, keep the change.
(what a sweetheart.)
27 Feb 2012
Tags: casino, chair massage, douche, happy endings, jerk, lmt, massage, poker, wallets, witty, wittylmt
Me (approaching a poker table): May I offer anyone here a tableside massage?
Player: Not that kind of massage, sweetheart
((oh, he thinks he is SO funny))
Me: Okay, well how about I massage your wallet instead?
12 Jan 2012
Tags: blackjack, cards, casino, chair massage, chest, douche, douchebag, gentleman, hand massage, hands, lmt, massage, profanities, red flag, shwasted, walter, wasted, witty, wittylmt
I started my shift at 10am. I didn’t get 10 minutes into my shift before I got a massage. This guy is a regular of mine and requested only 10 minutes. So I work on his shoulders and neck as per usual.
I hear snickering to my left so I look. Next to my regular is a wasted guy. I don’t mean drunk.. I mean SHWASTED. (Apparently this guy had been drinking at the casino since 6am, and before that he was out at a strip club since 10pm the night before.) I ask what he finds so funny and he mutters something about the massage. I ignore him and wrap up the massage I’m doing.
[I've decided to call his guy "Walter".. because it sounds like "wasted"]
Walter asks to get a massage before I moved on. So I start out with 10 minutes on his back. He turns around in the wasted fashion that most men do: face down, eyes immediately to my chest. He stares at my chest for a minute and says ‘I’d like a hand massage instead’ ooookaayyy? So I work on his hands and he continues to stare at my chest. Occasionally he looks up to play his hand at blackjack or to remark loudly to the other players. This continues for about an hour and a half: hand massage, other hand massage, neck massage, back to the hand massage.
Walter refuses to let me leave which is fine because I get paid by the minute and as long as I’m working, I’m getting paid. After he’s cut off by the waitress his drunk ass decided to make a sweet confession:
“I’m only getting a hand massage so I can stare at your tits.”
*Sigh* Typical douchebag. But to my rescue comes the ENTIRE table. My regular stands up and says ‘If you talk to her like that, there’s going to be trouble.” The rest of the table agrees and rips him a new one with profanities I don’t feel like going into.
He apologizes, I finish the massage and get paid (luckily) and move on. A couple hours later I see him at another pit and he asks to get more massage. This time he’s being a little more respectful (sober, respectful, same thing) and has me work on his back. Something happens during one of the hands and the guy becomes livid. He yells at the dealer and pit manager and stands up. He goes to walk off and I inform him he hasn’t paid me. He turns around and hands me whatever chips he has left and storms off. To end the story, I’ll let ya know I made bank that day.
To this day, some of the people from that table will stop me for a hand massage.
FYI: the joke gets old.
27 Dec 2011
in casino, Conversational Pieces
Tags: atlanta, awesome, blackjack, cards, casino, chair massage, gentleman, HIMYM, irish, italian, lmt, massage, NPH, orlando, poker, russian, witty, wittylmt
In the poker room at the casino, a guy stopped me and asked me (once again) what I was. As always I reply awesome! (thank you NPH as Barney Stinsen on HIMYM)
He laughed of course and said, “Nahh, I mean are you Russian?”
He nodded and said, “You look really familiar.” (Gee, what an original line)
I replied that I do work in the casino and have been for several months.
He asked, “Are you from Atlanta?”
And I gave him the biggest, most excited smile I could muster up: “Actually!.. no. I’m from Orlando. You’re close! By 9 hours of driving.. AND both cities start with a vowel and end with a vowel!”
(Enter 12 seconds of lapsed time)
Man: … Oh! Ah! Haha! That’s funny. Real cute.
Ya. Took ya a minute, huh, buddy?