oh, bother, why bother?

My name is Shannon. I will be turning 28 in 20 days. I have been single since 2009. There were a couple of points I thought I was dating someone. They were comparable to my middle school ‘relationships’ in the maturity and lasting levels. 

 

 

Yes, I think it’s bullshit. Yes I am frustrated. Yes, I think I brought a lot of it on myself. I didn’t try too hard to find someone while back in the US because I thought, “I’m leaving any day now to go live in another country or on an island.” But nearly three years went by before that move happened. Then I landed myself in a tiny ‘city’ in Thailand. There were about 10 guys in the city who weren’t Thai. Half of them were already in relationships. A fifth were gay and the others eventually found their way to a lady friend… or many in the same circle. I found solstice in the occasional tourist. Dreaming wildly that maybe one would sweep me off my feet, out of that ugly city and to another beautiful place. #sadlymistaken

Then I went back to the States for a few months and again, didn’t try too hard because I was leaving again soon. Also, I didn’t have a car too often. Also, I had no money and couldn’t go out to meet people. I was set up once or twice, and to my dismay, realized that people reallllly don’t get my “type”. 

I’m picky. I know it. Why shouldn’t I be? I like my men tall. I’m 5’2″ and want the opposite of short. I prefer them taller than 6’0″ but will accept 5’10” with some build. I like firm and fit. I want to be on the arm of a hot guy who inspires me to be hot for him as well. I like intelligence. This one I have to bite my tongue for. I enjoy a good laugh. Who doesn’t? I would love a guy who wasn’t racist. I have dated men of color in the past and it hurts my heart when a guy I’m interested in (or anyone for that matter) says something disrespectful to another race or culture. Yes I understand we all have our own biases and prejudices but there’s a line to be drawn and some things should be kept private. 

I’m a ‘bro.’ I get along smashingly with guys. I understand them and appreciate them. Therefore, I automatically am put into the sector of the ‘friendzone.’ We always hear about guys getting ‘friendzoned’ but what about us gals?

My luck so far tends to fall along the ‘fallen for a taken guy’ lines. Of course they’re taken. They’re good looking, hilarious, intelligent, and and and and and taken. 

Am I complaining? yes. Obviously. It’s difficult to watch my friends getting paired up and engaged and married. Even the ones who you think would never go that route. I choose to travel. I choose to work. but that doesn’t mean I don’t want or won’t make time for someone else. Chemistry matters to me. There hasn’t been much in my neck of the woods. 

Why is it when I venture out and find some smashingly hot guy, it’s a hit it and quit it thing? I get it. I do it. If it wasn’t that great…I quit it. Leave them in their hotel or apartment. If they’re good, I stay a bit and try to maintain contact. But then I’m the one making the contact and not finding the return. Sound familiar? It’s because I’m too easy. No I don’t sleep with everyone and hook up all the time. I’m not a slut. My personality is easy. I am not aggressive but I try to be clear about my intentions. They like the tease, they don’t like the tease. 

And they say women are difficult to understand. 

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