LMTA: Lmt Anonymous

My name is $#@^^*^- It’s been 9 months since my last massage.

well…. since I’ve given my last massage. Honey, I’m in Thailand right now – I can get a Thai massage here!

But that is not the point. The point is… I miss it.

I miss my table with the good head rest.

I miss the sheets, they were the best.

I miss my butter and my oil

I’m sad I’m gone, cuz now its spoiled.

I miss feeling the rotator cuff,

applying pressure that’s just enough.

I miss the energy and the flow

I miss massage I’m sure you know.

I do not miss the sleazy stares, the backs that have small bumps and hairs.

I do not miss the same lame joke, I do not miss the smell of smoke.

I do not miss the stinky sweat, I do not miss it, you can bet.

But overall I think I’d say

I really only miss the pay.

 

🙂 Just kidding.

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Big money!

When people win big at the casino, they win BIG. I have been there when one person won $18k at a slot machine, another won $79k at another slot machine, etc. Some of the stories I hear though are of people who are idiots and publicize their winnings while at the casino (by screaming, crying, jumping around, telling everyone, etc). I’ve heard of people getting robbed by their cars, others being followed home and robbed in their driveway, and some people killed at the gas station where they stop for lotto tickets. Mostly this is because they choose to take their winnings home in cash form. The smart ones take a check.

Walking around the casino, I passed by a woman saying:

“If I win big, I’m going to request my cash to be put in take-out boxes so it looks like I just ordered a bunch of food to-go.”

 

Helllllooooo? BRILLIANT! I’m sure her husband would be proud.

MTA: Massage Therapists Anonymous

Hello everyone. My name is Shannon and I’m a massage therapist. My last massage was yesterday and I’m feeling okay right now.

This little blog is dedicated to the new therapists, the old therapists, the masseuses and masseurs. We all get those questions about the happy endings or other inappropriate services, and we know the proper and professional responses and utilize them. But sometimes I get caught on a bad day (or good depending on how you look at it) and my responses can be a little sharp tongued.

My fellow therapists, this blog contains common situations and how I have responded (whether it was out loud or in my head). This blog is intended to make you laugh and nod in agreement on occasion.

I hope you enjoy it.

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