Bringing the Casino(skillz) to Korea!

No, actually it’s illegal to gamble here. It’s for the best. LAWD knows I’d be in troubbbllleee.

I was hanging out at school this past Friday preparing for a testing day by… checking Facebook. On the group created for my town in Korea, someone put up a post asking if anyone wanted to play poker. I couldn’t get in on the action because 1. I’m broke 2. I haven’t played since I left pre-Thailand 3. I’m broke. But I watched as a few guys responded to the post saying they wanted to join. After about 5 people joined in, an official event was started.

*insert mischievous grin* “I may not be able to play,” the grinchess thought, “..but maybe I can make them pay!”

Old memories of my times at the casino flooded my brain. I messaged the game-starter and mentioned my services. He said ‘I guarantee you’ll leave with 40K tonight’ (((keep in mind.. 40K in won… not dollars))) So I told him i’d get there after school.

School ended, I ran outside to catch a bus. *Insert an hour of trying to figure out which bus to catch from where I was* The game had started at 9:30p… I got out of work at 10pm…I didn’t get there until 11pm. 😦

But the game was still on! I had lotion and stretched my hands. And since this isn’t the casino…. I had myself a lovely gin and tonic. *content smile*

I offered 10 minutes for 7Kwon. I did two 30 minutes sessions and a 10 min session. After a couple of drinks, a horrible game of darts,  and a basket of chicken strips ((omg chicken strips!!))  I left. .. with 40K (won). AND a couple of new clients. One who will hopefully be a regular, and since I know his wife, they’ll be a couple of regulars 🙂

HIGH FIVE FOR MASSAGE DURING POKER SKILLS!!

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First Korean Massage!

The title is all wrong.

 

I haven’t received a massage here yet. And I also haven’t given a real massage yet. But several minutes after my last post, my manager was the at the printer and rubbing and rolling her shoulder. I asked if she was okay and she said ‘Yes. It just is hurt a little’ and I gave her the knowing smile. I asked if she needed a massage and she said ‘Yes. But I dont have time because I work here so much.’ It took her a moment to realize that I was a massage therapist and her eyes lit up in the way only excited Asians’ eyes can. It was classic. I told her to sit down for a minute and I worked her shoulder “chair massage” style. It seemed to work out pretty well. It was only a few minutes worth but it seemed to do the job.

She was called away by another teacher and rolled her shoulder a few times on the way out. She came running in about 2 minutes later exclaiming: “Shannon Teacher! Wow! You are miraculous! How did you know? My shoulder is very… ” then she ran to her computer to translate a word and returned with “congested! congestion? conjest?” LoL. I wouldn’t use congestion as a term for tight muscles but it worked out okay. For the next 20 minutes she would come back and say ‘Wow. Amazing.” or “Magic hands”

It seems the word will spread with the help of a manager. Now, people, don’t get me wrong. I did not do this to win points with my boss or get help later when I need it. She’s cool enough that’d she’d do that anyway. I offered her help because that’s the kind of person I am. I see a person in need and I offer my help. In this case, she took it and has no regrets.

She apparently has told the other “secret” manager (part owner of the school) of my abilities. I guess I can expect some clientele soon. 🙂

 

New Massage Technique: Serenade?

This is a story from a few years back while I was working out in Hawai’i.

I had been referred to a private client by someone who I know longer remember. This client happened to be VP of a particularly prominent shoe brand. As always, I turned the music on prior to setting up so the client can decide if it was what they wanted to relax to. My choice that session was “standards.” Sweet ballads by Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, Doris Day, Frank Sinatra, etc. You know… classics. VP asks me how I came to listen to these old singers and I told him I had no idea. I like the music, it reminds me of days that I never lived (in this life). I told him it inspired me to sing and Ella Fitzgerald was my musical preference.
He made a proposition I have still not had matched. He offered me twice the agreed upon rate, if I would ‘serenade’ him to sleep while I gave a massage. I recall agreeing of course. My first (and only) paid singing gig?!  While massaging? Throw in some ballet and I could be on America’s Got Talent!
Like most of my clients, he was passed out within the first 10 (of 90) minutes. At some point I think I went from singing to humming and he actually awoke and said humming was not part of the contract. Ha!!! Amazing. He was asleep and woke up when I stopped singing. ((Good thing I didn’t get caught having stopped the massage – jk. I would never))

Nice guy in a great big cabin in northern west Maui. I never got a bad vibe from him and he followed through with his end of the bargain. If I could make that a new style of massage..  ahhh c’est la vie.

LMTA: Lmt Anonymous

My name is $#@^^*^- It’s been 9 months since my last massage.

well…. since I’ve given my last massage. Honey, I’m in Thailand right now – I can get a Thai massage here!

But that is not the point. The point is… I miss it.

I miss my table with the good head rest.

I miss the sheets, they were the best.

I miss my butter and my oil

I’m sad I’m gone, cuz now its spoiled.

I miss feeling the rotator cuff,

applying pressure that’s just enough.

I miss the energy and the flow

I miss massage I’m sure you know.

I do not miss the sleazy stares, the backs that have small bumps and hairs.

I do not miss the same lame joke, I do not miss the smell of smoke.

I do not miss the stinky sweat, I do not miss it, you can bet.

But overall I think I’d say

I really only miss the pay.

 

🙂 Just kidding.

Comparable

If anyone walked into the poker room before noon, they would ask themselves if they accidentally walked into a bingo hall instead. There are SO many old men there it is isn’t funny… or it is because old men can be funny.

Many of them are war veterans of this or that war. At least once a day I hear them say “I’m too old” or “My bones couldn’t handle a massage” or whatever. I know the excuses and I smile nicely and walk on.

Recently however, I had an influx of men who fought in ‘Nam. And they LOVE to tell me that they had a massage once… over in some asian country where the girls give REALLY GOOD massages.

Old men “I fought in ‘Nam. I was stationed at one point in Thailand. I definitely got massages there. They were only a few bucks too. Great massages”

Me “But I doubt we give the same type of massages”

Old men “No honey, I hope not! Haha. and if my wife ever found out…”

Thank you old men for comparing my massages to those of hookers in thailand.

Stinky people

People who gamble seriously take gambling serious. As mentioned, I see people gambling not just $5 bets.. $500 bets on a regular basis.

In the poker room, players will sit there for hours upon hours playing cards and losing their money (and then winning it back and then losing it again, etc). I started my shift around 10 am and immediately got a massage. There was a particularly ghetto guy playing at Table 14 across from my massage. His friend was playing there as well. His friend mentioned he has to get back home to get his kid and since he was the sober of them, they needed to leave in an hour. Ghetto guy agreed and went back to singing especially loud and off key to the pure enjoyment of the entire table. I’m still a bit tired so I encourage this character by laughing a few times at his incredible (horrible) singing abilities. At some point I suppose he starts to notice because he starts to lower his glasses at me and smile.MMmmmmm, nothing turns a girl on like gold-framed teeth. He loses a few hands, wins a few hands, then tells his friend to F*** off when it’s time to leave. He can find his own damn ride home! He’s a grown-ass man who is capable of getting a taxi! (Mind you he lives 125+ miles away).

After I finish my massage, I go on break. When I come back, a supervisor asked for me to head to table 14. I approach the table hoping it was my previous client again but alas and alack! it is Ghetto guy requesting me! He doesn’t really want a massage though, he says as he leans in close. He wants to get to know me because I am a beautiful girl and he knows I’m working so this is how he decides to wooooooo me. The little darling says he’ll pay for 5 minutes of massage (That would be $10, I see about $4 of that, and hope I get a tip) but he doesn’t want me to massage him… he just wants me to touch him. And, baby, does he smell gooooooood!  Like an expired pack of cigarettes all smoked at once with a slight undertone of sweat mingling with a hint of vodka red bull.
Like any good therapist, I use my Peppermint & Lavender scented Badger Balm (from Cracker Barrel, mind you!) on his neck immediately. About two minutes later he turns around and pushes me away: “You have this amazing power to make me feel really high right now. I’m too high for this to play and drunk. I’ll call you back over to get to know you a bit better later. Here’s the money plus a nice tip.” (Total: $15 for 2 minutes.. Meh, I’ll take it)

Not too long later (about 5 hours) I come back around offering massage and the guy takes off his glasses and stands up. He is obviously about to be dramatic and he’s halting the game.

He says “You. Miss Shannon. You rubbed that massage shit on me.”

I say “It’s actually not shit, it’s balm. It’s a lavender and peppermint scent.”

He says “Well I prefer my Burberry more better”

I say “More better huh? Well that’s grammatically correct!”

He says “You talkin shit?”

I say “No sir, I talk truth.”

While the table laughs at my friendly banter and his outraged responses, he accidentally throws some money into the pot and then realizes he wasn’t supposed to do that. His accidental raise caused him to accidentally start swearing toward me and I walked away shaking my head.

Luckily it was my last day there so I didn’t have to worry about the response. . . He was smell and drunk anyway. For shits and giggles (which I already had at this guys expense) I decided to google how much a cab ride would be for this guy to go home:

~$330

🙂 I guess the taxi driver gets the last laugh.

Nothing in life is free

As I walk around a pit with blackjack tables in it, I ask each table if they would like a massage. Typically they ask how much it is and either agree to get one or (most likely) do not.

Me: Massages for anyone here?

Fat Man in giant jean shorts: Are they free?

Me: No sir.

Fat Man in giant jean shorts: How about you give me a free one, pretty lady?

Me: Okay! Here’s the deal: I’ll give you a 5 minute free massage, but in exchange I want at least $10 in chips or cash… for free.

Fat Man in giant jean shorts: Okay, here’s a chip ($2.50).

Me: You want a one minute massage?
(massages are $2/minute)

Fat Man  in giant jean shorts: Yea, keep the change.
(what a sweetheart.)

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