2019: Keep Trying

You’d think by now that I would know my strengths and weaknesses, my habits and distractions. Well, I do. But I also know that, despite my Taurus tendencies, I like to change things up, keep things interesting. I like to break habits and surprise myself.

In 2018, I failed in so many aspects. I failed my resolutions. I failed my goals. But that’s because I didn’t give credit to my strengths and weaknesses. This year, 2019, I will keep trying.

Resolution #1: Lose 20 lbs. Or 10. Or 15lbs. Lose a few inches where appropriate.
I will keep trying to lose weight, inches, and be a healthier, happier me. I am not unhealthy now. I weigh a sturdy 160lbs. This number sucks. “It’s not about numbers” except that it is. I did 3-week and 6-week challenges to better myself in this area. I literally have not gained or lost weight. My measurements are more or less the same as well, aside from a quarter inch on my arms. I steadily worked out. But toward the holidays I tapered out. I lost motivation and allowed myself to be distracted. I don’t regret it though. I just know that now is a time that I can depend on others to help me reach my goals. And not for $35/week. Sorry, FBBC — I can’t afford you.

Resolution #2: Track it. No excuses.
As seen in my previous posts, I am awful at keeping track of it. Whatever ‘it’ may be. I was trying to hold myself accountable by journaling. Let’s face it — I have a love-hate relationship with putting my life online. So I’m trying to be better at tracking my goals, my diet, my exercise, my budget.

Resolution #3: Budget
I tried last year. I didn’t try hard enough. I didn’t learn. This year, I will try to do better. I will sit down old school style if I have to and learn about budgeting. I’d like to make more money. How will I achieve this? Getting a raise is basically out of the question unless I get a promotion, which is coming up next. However, I have a lot of skills. I can cook, massage, and I’m a damned good voice actor. No more petty excuses. If I can make extra money, then I should be doing it. Maybe it’s time to get a second job and have no life. I already don’t have much of a life so there’s no excuse for my spending and not earning.

Resolution #4: reduce my debt by 40%
I hate that this is a resolution. The fact that I let it get out of hand is embarrassing enough. I have a goal to reduce my debt by 40%. Is this attainable? I don’t see why not? But I may not see because I haven’t budgeted. Damn.. back to #3.

Resolution #5: Crush it at work
I already sort of do that, so it isn’t inconceivable to do more crushing. Last year, I won November Team Member of the Month. This put me into the running for Team Member of the 4th quarter. I won. This puts me into the running for Legend (Hourly Team Member of the Year). I think I may stand a chance on this. What will it do for me though? Obviously, it looks good on paper — but how can I translate that into a promotion or use it to help me get into a position that will help me be where I want? I have a mentor at work now, I suppose that would be a question for her.

Resolution #6KEEP TRYING
I won’t give up. I will keep on trying. Whatever it may be — keep on trying.

 

Gaining Weight, Losing Accountability

I am doing terribly at this. As usual, I get into something for a week or so and then it just falls off.

I have been working out every day this week. I’ve eaten primarily vegetables, fruit, and meat/protein. I have been drinking water regularly. Weight isn’t changing.

 

I suck at this. I’ll keep trying.

Losing Weight, Gaining Accountability: Day 8

Monday 12/3/18

Current Weight: 160lb (no change)

Workout: 30 min HIIT bootcamp with focus on chest and triceps

What I ate:

  • 1 cutie
  • 1 cup of cereal (i don’t know how that happened)
  • 2 combined cups of chicken, brussels sprouts, zucchini, peppers, cauliflower rice
  • 1 c ground turkey + 1/3c marinated veggies

What I drank:

  • 1 c. of coffee
  • 2 x16oz of water
  • 1 strongbow

Losing Weight, Gaining Accountability: Day 2

Losing Weight, Gaining Accountability: Day 2 Check In

Tuesday 11/27/18

Workout: 30 min HIIT bootcamp with focus on abs & legs

What I ate:

  • 2 hardboiled eggs
  • 1 green apple with peanut butter
    • plus another tbsp of peanut butter
  • 1.5 c of stir fry
    • cauliflower rice, chicken thigh, egg, broccoli, snow peas, peppers, onions, carrots
  • 3 Clementines/Cuties/Sweeties (whatever they’re called)
  • stuffed cabbage with mashed cauliflower
  • 10 crackers with various slices of cheese (thin slices?)
  • 1 piece of droewors (dried sausage, but not the gross kind)

What I drank:

  • 3x16oz water
  • 1.5 c of coffee with creamer (minimal amount)

 

Losing Weight, Gaining Accountability: Day 1

Losing Weight, Gaining Accountability: Day 1 Check In

Monday 11/26/18

What I ate:

  • 2 Clementine/Sweetie orange thingys
  • 1 cup of greek salad (marinated olives & peppers, colorful tomato, cucumber, a wee bit of feta)
  • 1.5 cups of stir fry
    • Cauliflower rice, chicken thigh, eggs, broccoli, snap peas, carrots, onions, peppers, a wee bit of coconut oil for the veggies
  • A weird mashup of food for dinner
    • 3/4 cup of ground turkey & black beans, .5 cup of”candied” carrots (carrots that were cooked in a bit of coconut oil, no sugars added), ~.5 cup spaghetti squash
  • Blackberries (1 container)
    • I cheated and had some marshmallow fluff with it because it didn’t fit into the jar from the pastry bag. — My friends make REALLY AMAZING marshmallows from scratch and there’s no way I was going to waste their hard efforts. https://sugarrushmarshmallows.com/ for more info. (They didn’t ask to be part of this, but I’m insanely proud of them and will promote shamelessly for them when I can)
  • 3 bites of biltong

What I drank:

  • 1.5 c of coffee with tsp of creamer
  • 50oz of water (give or take)
  • .5 c of apple cider

Workout:

~45 min of HIIT with focus on triceps and chest

Accountability.

I admit. I’ve been rubbish at keeping my resolutions. I can blame whatever funks or bad energies  I want — but the reality is that I am accountable for myself.

I have tried multiple workout routines and tried to take advantage of the various deals that various workout facilities offer. $41 for 41 days of Power Yoga. $39 for 30 days of Barre classes. Initial Fees waived and multi-location available for a discounted price. I even made up my own where I pay more off my credit card for each pound I gained instead of lost!  It didn’t work. It wasn’t consistent. It didn’t work and wasn’t consistent because I didn’t work to keep it consistent.

I need to be held accountable. I just completed a 3 week challenge of $21 for 21 days. Except I paid extra for a diet plan that I could have found online. The difference this time is that the location and times of the bootcamp classes are convenient. I can stop by before work twice a week for a 30 min class or do 1 or 2 30 min classes right after work. They’re definitely tough classes, but the coaches and other attendees are really great. There’s such a nice little community within it and it’s encouraging me to stay. I won’t be able to afford it after this 6 week challenge ends at the end of the year.. but I’ll work my ass off until then.

On to the good stuff: How will I hold myself accountable?

  1. I attend these damn classes! There’s a weekly weigh in and a before and after measurement to see how much weight, inches, and body fat % is lost (or gained).
    • I weighed in at 159.3lb yesterday (Monday 11/26)
  2. I’m eating healthier and being honest about what I am consuming. How am I going to be honest? I’m going to write about it here. This will be my little diary. I can update it as the day goes by.
  3. My BFF Melanie — we’re both not happy with where we are in our bodies and we want to be better and stronger. We basically talk everyday anyway, but on Mondays we will weigh in and chat about our diets and workouts. It helps to have a partner to hold yourself accountable.

So there it is. Let’s get it done!

Weight a minute…

I came to Korea 2 years ago. I weighed about 140-145lbs (66-68kg). Prior to that I lived in Thailand and weighed about 135-140lbs (61-63kg)..

In Thailand I had Asian markets and cheap food in small portions. I cooked my own food or ate out but I definitely did my share of eating.. But I was also riding my bicycle around town in the sticky humid heat of Surat Thani. I had a dress and skirt custom made during my last week in that country.

I went back to the U.S. in mid April 2013. During my summer months at home I didn’t do much.. I had Publix around the corner and a large kitchen with ample counter space. I was no longer eating small portions, special spices, or riding my bike everywhere. I hadn’t realized I had gained weight until my friend’s wedding in August when I tried to put on my custom made dress and it was.. Snug to say the least.

I figured I was going back to Asia and would lose weight. My friend Ben tried to warn me that many people gained weight in Korea. I laughed and ignored him.

I moved to Korea in August 2013 weighing about 145lbs / 66 kg.. Ish?

I was gaining weight. I knew this because my pants were getting tighter and tighter.

About a year after living in Ulsan (July 2014) I went to a surgeon about my hernia and he said I’d need to lose weight after the surgery. I weighed in at 72kg..which I quickly converted – and to my shock and dismay – to 158lbs. I had gained more than 10lbs in that year alone.

(Quick backstory: I graduated high school at 120-125lbs. Over the course of 8 years I had barely gained 10lbs) so you can imagine the horror I felt.

I had been working out. I hadn’t been eating a lot of rice. Where did this come from??

I stopped taking pictures of myself and untagging them from Facebook because they were gross. I was gross.

A friend told me to get off birth control and see what happened. I happened to be running out of my prescription anyway so I decided to try it.

In December of 2014, I moved to Seoul. I joined a gym immediately and did my best to go a few times a week at least. I teetered between 71kg-73kg (156-160lbs). I lived in a super tiny apartment with a 2 min walk to work. This only made matters worse. I hate winter and stayed inside my tiny apartment too much..which meant I was eating a lot. I was stressed and unhappy…which meant I was eating a lot.

In April 2015 I went to another surgeon about a ganglion cyst in my wrist. I weighed in at 75kg. I didn’t believe the scale. I was afraid to convert it. I couldn’t even admit the number out loud. I literally would choke. So here goes: 165lbs.

In my highest weight, I was at my lowest point. What. The. Fuck. Was. Happening????

I went to an OBgyn about birth control because obviously that shit wasn’t working and my worst nightmare is becoming pregnant. I wanted an IUD.

(I was supposed to get para guard back in 2011 but chickened out when I saw the tools).

In May 2015 I received Mirena. I was also losing my job and therefore that tiny apartment.

In June 2015 I was having stomach issues. I thought the intense pain was caused by gallbladder problems. Turns out I was extremely backed up. So backed up that the doctor wondered how I was still functioning. Oh.. And I had a mild form of colitis. I took the medications prescribed.

I moved into my new larger apartment on June 22nd 2015. It was on a hill (well, still is).

I had a new schedule that required me to take a subway to work and walk to and from subways. (I’m switching to present tense because it applies to now). I work all over Seoul. I live in HBC, work in Mokdong, and tutor in Gangnam. It’s all over the place.

Somehow though the weight started to dissipate. I went to a gym and was 69kg, which I quickly converted to 152lbs. What???????

Then my student had a scale and we weighed ourselves. I was 67.6kg.. Which I quickly converted to 149lbs. I was below 150!!!!! Holy shit.

I bought my own scale and today I weighed in at 65kg. It was my 1st goal weight. I grabbed clothes that I haven’t been able to fit into since I moved to Korea. And here is the before and after…

February 2015

September 2015

The next goal is 61.5kg (135kg). Let’s see what happens by 2016 😉

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